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Every Day Life February 18, 2011 · 3 min read

How to NOT Be Conflict Avoidant: Try These 7 Things

Conflict in any relationship is inevitable. You may avoid it at all costs initially, but sooner or later you will have to confront it. Whether it is at work with colleagues, with family members, or with a significant other, conflict is something that needs to be faced head-on. Conflict avoidance can lead to further complications and misunderstandings. It’s time to stop avoiding and start resolving. With that in mind, here are seven things you can do to confront conflict and not be conflict avoidant.

1. Practice active listening

One of the biggest reasons why conflicts occur is the lack of active listening. People get so caught up in defending their own point of view that they don’t even hear what the other person is saying. Practice active listening by giving your undivided attention to the other person’s point of view. You don’t have to agree with everything that is said, but you do need to understand it.

2. Be assertive, not aggressive

Assertiveness is key in resolving conflicts. It shows a level of confidence and allows you to express your own thoughts and opinions. However, being assertive does not mean being aggressive. There is a fine line between standing up for yourself and being confrontational. It’s important to find that balance.

3. Take some space to cool down

Sometimes, it’s better to step back and cool down before you approach a conflict head on. Take time to reflect on the situation and come back to it once you are feeling less emotional and more level-headed. Taking space to cool down can give you clarity about the situation and allow you to approach it with a better perspective and less avoidant behavior.

4. Choose your battles

You can’t fight every battle, and not every problem is worth the effort. It is tedious and unproductive to argue about every single detail, every single issue. Learning to choose your battles is a sign of maturity and can help in avoiding unnecessary conflicts.

5. Collaborate and find common ground

When it comes to conflict resolution, finding common ground is vital to moving forward. Collaborating with others and finding commonalities in your differences can lead to a more reconciliatory resolution. Focus on the issue, not the person, and find ways to work together to find a solution.

6. Be prepared to apologize

Often, acting too avoidant may exacerbate a conflict. Acknowledge your part in the conflict and be ready to offer an apology when necessary. It’s better to let go of your ego and seek resolution than be constantly plagued by small conflicts that could have been avoided through apology.

7. Seek mediation

If you’re having trouble resolving a conflict on your own, consider involving a mediator. Mediators are trained professionals from http://lovetopivot.com/ who can help two parties come to a mutually acceptable resolution. A mediator helps bring clarity by offering a neutral third-party point of view, who can offer suggestions and solutions.

Conflict avoidance can be detrimental to relationships and can lead to long-standing problems that become increasingly difficult to resolve. These 7 tips can help you confront conflicts in a healthy, productive and non-avoidant manner. Remember to respect the other person’s perspective, actively listen, choose your battles and find a mutually acceptable solution that promotes growth and better understanding. Practice these tips and you’re on your way to becoming a pro in conflict resolution.

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