Happy Monday, everyone! Today I am pleased to introduce you to Chelle and her husband Corban in a delightful new edition of We Married Young! Make sure to pop on over to her blog, Spangled Paraphernalia, and tell her I sent you. =) (But not before you read her interview first!)
1. First of all, tell us how long have you been married and how old were the two of you when you tied the knot?
He was 23 and I was 22 when we got married. We just celebrated our third anniversary, at the ages of 26 and 25!
2. Tell us a little backstory! How did you and your Husband meet and how long did you date before getting married?
We officially met in Sunday School when we were about four years old! I vaguely remember a little black-haired boy in sweater vests…
At the age of 17, we were reunited when we both got parts in a community theater production. For over a year, we were “just good friends,” but four days before I started college, at the ages of 18 and 19, we officially started dating. We were together for over four years before we got married.
3. Some people might say you got married a little too young (it’s been said to Nate & I!)- did you receive any negative feedback on your choice to get married at a younger age or were you surrounded by support?
Over all, we had a lot of support from family and friends. We had been living together for two years before we got married, which our families did not approve of, so they were excited for us to finally make it “official.” We did get some “Wow, you’re so young!” comments from extended family and coworkers, and many people assumed that I was pregnant. They couldn’t understand why else we would get married so young.
4. This is the time in our lives when most of us twenty-somethings are truly finding ourselves and our purpose, through education or by other means. Have you found it harder or easier to work toward your goals as a married woman?
It has been MUCH more difficult to accomplish my goals, mostly because my husband is the bread winner and his job location is very set. Finding a schedule and location that works for both of us has been a constant battle. Just this morning, I had to turn down an interview for a job that I really wanted because it was too far away. However, I think that these difficulties just come with being committed to someone. We make sacrifices for each other and sometimes those sacrifices are really hard, but they are always worth it.
5. Life is fast paced when you’re trying to accomplish so many things and maintain a vibrant and fulfilling marriage at the same time! Do you have any tips on staying connected to your significant other with so much going on?
Make time to communicate with each other. We may spend hours together watching our favorite television shows or socializing, but that doesn’t mean that we are really paying attention to each other. Without constant, consistent communication, it becomes really easy to misunderstand and feel distant from each other. When we both agree to commit to honestly communicate and perform acts of love and devotion for each other, our home is much happier and individual goals much easier to accomplish.
6. What are your favorite things to do as a married couple? Have those things changed a lot or stayed the same since the dating days?
Our entertainment habits have changed a bit as our finances have become less tight, but we mostly still enjoy the same kinds of things: sitting on porches, hanging out with friends, having a drink on the weekend, marathoning our favorite tv shows, and watching baseball. We travel a lot more now. Recently, we have decided to branch out a little and try learning new skills together. On the list so far are knitting and jelly-making!
7. Did getting married change anything (relationships, lifestyle, etc.) in your life that surprised you at all?
I was surprised that my relationship with my parents became much smoother after we got married. I think that many people see me as more of an adult now, even though I don’t feel like one myself!
Also, our social lives changed quite a bit after we got married. People looked at us differently for some reason. I could tell we made some of our single friends uncomfortable, even though we didn’t when we were just dating. There was definitely a period of adjustment.
8. Are the first few years really the hardest?
Short answer: YES. Long answer: So far, every year has been harder than the last, but this has also helped us mature as a couple and as individuals. As we get older and life gets more complicated, we are forced to really communicate and examine our own feelings and motivations. I think that the difficulties make the relationship incredibly rewarding and bond us together even closer than before.
9. And everyone is dying to know! When will there be babies?
Hah, wouldn’t my mother-in-law like to know! Not for several years, if at all. We do talk about it often, so the desire is there, we just aren’t sure if having children is the right decision for us. Either way, for now, we are enjoying our lives as they are: spending time with each other and accomplishing our goals.
10. Lastly, if you could give one piece of advice to a young couple who were thinking of getting hitched, what would it be?
The biggest lesson that I have learned (and, honestly, am still learning) is that you must always be kind to your spouse, even when you don’t feel like it. Cohabitating is stressful enough, but sharing space, possessions, finances, and friends can cause huge arguments and misunderstandings. However, through all the hard stuff, you have to remember that you’re both on the same team and it is unlikely that your spouse ever wants to be hurtful towards you. So, swallow your pride and anger, and always be kind, understanding, and honest. If you can do this consistently, you’ll get the same in return.