We Married Young V.11

Hi my dear readers! I’m happy to announce that I’m bringing back a beloved feature- We Married Young! And guess what? I’m interviewing…. myself. =) I am definitely on the lookout for possible feature candidates now, so if you feel that you fit the bill or that you know someone else who might please feel free to shoot me an email at steph at take-hart.com!

1. First of all, tell us how long have you been married and how old were the two of you when you tied the knot?

Nate and I got married on June 12th of 2010, so December will be a year and a half! He had just turned twenty-three in April and I was still twenty-two with a birthday coming in August.

2. Tell us a little backstory! How did you and your Husband meet and how long did you date before getting married?

I met Nate in a most unusual way! I met him through one of my long time best friends who I met when I was twelve. We both happened to be vacationing at the same hotel in Sarasota, FL and instantly became good friends. Ashley and I kept in touch via the internet and vacationed there together every year throughout our early teens. She met Nate by complete chance in 2005 via myspace and an accidental meeting at a football game. So they became friends and I started hearing more and more about him. We ended up chatting a bit on AIM now and then and that led to talking on the phone, which led to plans of me coming to Kentucky to visit as a surprise for Ashley’s birthday. He and I met on March 21st, 2006 at the Louisville Airport! I came back to visit and handful of times that year and we officially started dating on April 24th, 2006. I moved to Kentucky for good in September of that same year! I still look back on that and think about what a crazy whirlwind that all was! I am so not an impulsive or brave person, in my mind. Gut instincts I suppose!

Around 5-10 minutes after we met!

3. Some people might say you got married a little too young – did you receive any negative feedback on your choice to get married at a younger age or were you surrounded by support?

We definitely heard our fair share of comments on how young we were and questions on why we wouldn’t want to wait longer. I think a lot of people were even more concerned about our choice to purchase a house so quickly. None of the negative feedback scared me or made me doubt our choices. I moved in with his family when I moved here at the end of 2006, so we knew the ins and outs of the relationship from being with each other constantly- the good and the bad! We knew what we wanted and I’d say we’ve proved anyone who had any negative thoughts completely wrong at this point!

Newlywed mornings!

4. This is the time in our lives when most of us twenty-somethings are truly finding ourselves and our purpose, through education or by other means. Have you found it harder or easier to work toward your goals as a married woman?

I definitely think it’s been easier to to focus on my goals with my best friend by my side. If we were dating he would still be by my side, of course. But there’s such an amazing comfort that comes with being married and working as a team to accomplish our goals together. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

5. Life is fast paced when you’re trying to accomplish so many things and maintain a vibrant and fulfilling marriage at the same time! Do you have any tips on staying connected to your significant other with so much going on?

Nate and I have always enjoyed taking 30 minutes or an hour to cuddle up and watch a TV show. When we first started dating we watched every episode of The O.C. .. then we moved on to Gilmore Girls.. a few others.. and now we’re really addicted to Parenthood. We have other times where we take the time to talk about our day and things like that, but I think the time that we spend just being quiet and enjoying each others company watching something we both like is a relaxing way to spend time together. It’s a little tradition that I really love.

Christmas 2008!

6. What are your favorite things to do as a married couple? Have those things changed a lot or stayed the same since the dating days?

I think they’ve really stayed the same, but we’ve had to cut back on them a little! When we were dating we enjoyed going out to eat.. a lot. We still do! However, being on a tight budget keeps us from doing that quite as often.. along with anything that would cost money. When we’re home we still enjoy all of the same activities – both together and on our own. The only difference is that there has to be time made for chores, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. So computer and xbox time get put on the back burner a little more than before we were married and completely spoiled. ;]

7. Did getting married change anything (relationships, lifestyle, etc.) in your life that surprised you at all?

Oh yes. Yes, yes, and yes. At first I really struggled with this, bad. We were part of a really tight knit group of friends before we got married and through changes in that group and then the changes that came with us being the married people, it felt like our entire foundation of friends and everything that we enjoyed doing crumbled out from underneath us. It was a big change. We were always with a group when we did things and I guess you could say we had sort of forgotten how to just.. be. But I look back on all of the stress I felt about the whole situation and I sigh a little.. and I smile at my silliness. Being married is about relying on one another. I was very much relying on Nate, and a handful of other people. I literally didn’t know how to be content not talking to the other people 24/7 and being involved in everything that they did. When I realized that I had everything I’d ever need in Nate and let go of my intense need for that core group of friends, I found out was true love and marriage is really all about. And anyone that remains a close friend in my life at this point is the real deal.

Our first kiss in our new home.

8. Are the first few years really the hardest?

I don’t know yet, but I kind of feel like the answer will be no on this one. I think there are definitely a lot of things that Nate and I have learned about each other over the past year and a half. Ways to help each other, ways to not argue about stupid things. Ways to build each other up. There are definitely little things that I would not want to relive from our short time as a married couple, and I’m sure there will be more to come which we will learn from. But I honestly think that when we decide to bring kids into the picture is when we’ll be like, “Shit just got real.”

9. And of course, everyone is just dying to know! When will there be babies?

Oh, I couldn’t ask for a better transition from one question to the next. ;] But okay, listen. I have talked everyone to death about how we’re waiting 3-5 years. We are. But the funny thing is that we originally said 5.. and then without either of our consent it changed to 3-5. I’m not sure how that happened. But when I hear a toddler throwing a screaming tantrum or when I watch a TV show and I hate the teenage girl character and her ridiculous attitude and then I remember that I WAS THAT TEENAGE GIRL and OH MY POOR MOM- yeah, a small part of me thinks there is no way I’m ready and that maybe I wont ever be! But then…. I hold my 3 month old nephew and I’m rambling about babies all day. At the end of the day though, I know we really aren’t ready and that my heart isn’t screaming BABIES. NOW. We also just aren’t in a place financially where it would be a smart choice. And like I said previously, I think Nate and I are still learning about each other and learning how to truly love selflessly. I want a little more practice. =) And I know that finances are never perfect, but we made a huge investment in this house and I just wouldn’t want to see us jump the gun and get into a bad place when we could’ve waited a little and had things under control.

10. Lastly, if you could give one piece of advice to a young couple who were thinking of getting hitched, what would it be?

I could touch on several topics, but I’ll stick with this: if you have intentions of going back to school after you get married, think hard about waiting on getting married and working on your education first. I know that Nate would love to be able to go back to school right now but we just can’t afford it. We have a lot to show for our accomplishments- we are barely 25 and we own our own beautiful home, with room to grow in even! We have good jobs.. but they aren’t exactly what either of us want to do forever. It just hurts my heart a little to know that Nate wants to do something else but he really can’t because of all of the other responsibilities he has.