Finding Fulfillment and Balance as a Mom

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be fulfilled as a wife and a mother. I see so many women just killing it in their full time careers and taking on motherhood at the same time. It gives so many of them a fulfillment that they wouldn’t get anywhere else. And I want to feel fulfilled by the same lifestyle, but honestly? I would be 100% happy being a SAHM. The opportunity isn’t there for our family right now and I do enjoy working. But I would love to spend my days taking care of Landon and keeping my home. That’s not to say that this way of life should appeal to everyone, at all! But I see so many people out there pushing the idea that we can do it all, that we should want to do it all. And I know we can. But is there a safe place to say that maybe, sometimes, it feels like we can’t? Or maybe that we just plain don’t want to? I feel like I have to whisper thoughts like these in the quiet stillness of my bubble bath or scream them with my face buried in a pillow. As a woman, it doesn’t feel okay to say – “HEY, I don’t have my shit together!”

There are so many days when I feel on top of it all. But there are those dark days when work is so stressful, the house is a wreck, the baby is cranky, we’ve eaten fast food for a week straight and I’ve made no time for a mental health break. It catches up in a big way. I’m one of those people who lets go of the small stuff until it collectively turns into the giant elephant in the room. A herd of elephants. Big piles of laundry, a bathroom that’s needed cleaning for far too long. An entire house that is now going to take an entire weekend to get back on track. And when both people in a relationship/marriage work full time jobs, there is no finger pointing to be done. There’s just no place for the blame game when you know that you’re both exhausted and doing your best.

I feel like there has been such a shift in how we think of ourselves as women and what we should be able to accomplish. We should be able to work full time, spend time on our marriage, take care of our children, breast feed, meal plan, cook, clean, work out, meditate, spend time with family, hang out with friends … all on little to no sleep, right? We should want to go out and do all of those things because we “deserve” that, right?

I wouldn’t trade a thing in my life right now, but I want you all to know that I struggle to keep all of the balls in the air. And if you feel the same way, you aren’t alone. Do not feel guilty. Ask for help when possible, learn to politely say “no” to things that are making things harder on you or causing you anxiety, apologize when you bite off more than you can chew and move on. We are all in this crazy, wonderful, stressful, sleepless world together. And whether you are a full time working mama or a SAHM, there are different stressors and they are all real and relevant. Let’s support each other and find a way to proudly say that we don’t always have our shit together but that we are doing our best.