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Today I am 33 weeks pregnant. Today I am starting to kind of get over illness number 32049898 that has plagued my body since I became pregnant 809093409 years ago. I do not feel that this is an exaggeration at this moment in time. No, no – it is accurate.
You’ve seen all of those articles that tell you all about the things that “no one tells you about pregnancy”, right? Er, well, if you aren’t pregnant and/or you haven’t been in the last couple of years then maybe you haven’t. But they’re everywhere and the authors of said articles all have the same list of things to warn you about with a similar witty twist – they’re basically all poop related warnings, so I’ll spare you.
The one thing I feel I was not adequately prepared for by these articles, the books I’ve read, and all of the unsolicited advice I’ve received? Being sick the entire duration of pregnancy. And not just a little bit sick. No. While other people will catch a cold or have an allergic reaction to the change of the seasons – I will get the same thing and it will morph into pneumonia. If you sneeze within 100 feet of me I will catch what you have, even if you don’t think you have anything. If a flower blooms outside and my “allergies” act up, suddenly I have bronchitis. I have heard of the “pregnancy sniffles” – I don’t have them. I was prepared for them. I was prepared to feel kind of stuffy throughout pregnancy but otherwise mostly fine. Never an issue for me. It has been mentioned to me that the immune system is lowered during pregnancy (as to not fight off the baby) but I’ve got to tell you – my immune system is not “lowered” – my immune system is taking a 9 month long vacation on a beach in Cabo. NO ONE TOLD ME MY IMMUNE SYSTEM WOULD PACK IT’S SHIT AND LEAVE ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF IN THE GERM INFESTED WATERS OF DAILY LIFE WHEN I NEEDED IT MOST. I’m sorry, there is just no nice way to say that.
I have loved being pregnant and I feel that I have been spared many of the normal woes of pregnancy. I didn’t have much morning sickness, I was able to keep working out, I wore my high-waisted skinny jeans unreasonably well into my pregnancy, my skin didn’t do anything weird, my hands and feet have stayed the exact same size, I haven’t had super crazy cravings or food aversions, I haven’t had heartburn, I haven’t been irritable, unreasonable, or psychotic (until the last few days), I don’t have any stretch marks, and I’ve been able to poop consistently (you’re welcome). But I would honestly rather have endured some of the more unpleasant things on that list than be on again, off again every few weeks fighting razor blade sore throats, body aches, uncontrollable coughing (to the point of waking up every 5 minutes and/or throwing up), asthmatic breathing, and the complete inability to take care of myself and my house. I have been forced to take “pregnancy safe antibiotics” like 5xs because it was either take them and finally get better or wait it out and see if I ended up hospitalized. I’M OVER IT. I want to feel normal (“pregnant normal” will do), I want Nate to stop contracting my sicknesses (he never used to but I’m staying sick so long that it’s inevitable) and for us to just be able to get our house together and get ready to have the most amazing and exhausting experience of our lives. I need to be able to do my nesting – not be laying on the couch sobbing about how I can’t cook dinner or wash my hair between coughing fits while Nate tries to take care of both of us when he’s also feeling sick.
So, yes. Things no one tells you. Your immune system goes on vacation. Be prepared. Get a plastic bubble.
(I’ll be back with a regularly scheduled sunshine and rainbows pregnancy update soon, now that I have gotten that bit off of my chest.)
