Bright and Quiet

It’s pouring the snow this morning. I’m sitting in my pajamas at our dining room table with only the light of the day from the backdoor window lighting the room. I’m watching the giant flakes fall down around a tree that I helped plant on a much warmer day. I’ve never seen this much snow in my life. I’m mostly tired of it like everyone else at this point but it’s hard to find it anything but beautiful from this cozy spot at my table looking out from behind the glow of my laptop screen, sipping coffee. Nate is asleep on the couch. The TV has gone quiet – the dish is out from the ice. I like the quiet first thing in the morning anyway.

The baby is kicking periodically as I type this. His activity patterns change every few days now. For the past few days he’s been really active in the morning. I never get tired of watching my stomach. He seems to respond to my voice a bit. If I talk to him right after he kicks/moves he’ll move again in a quicker motion. If I don’t say anything it will usually just be those one or two kicks with some time in between the next. It feels like a little conversation. It makes me anxious for him to get here – to hold him, see him, know him. Other mothers keep telling me that I’ll miss the feeling of having him with me and all of his little movements. I know I will. It already feels so strange wanting him HERE right now but also wanting to keep him all to myself. I’m trying to take it all in right now and I’ve been enjoying it so much. I really have enjoyed being pregnant so far and I feel blessed to be able to say that.

This weekend will be for hanging out inside, cleaning, laundry, working on baby registries and shower guest lists, working on Pure Romance, cuddling, Netflix, bubble baths, hot chocolate, hanging out at my Parent’s house and overall relaxation. I’m going to savor every second of it.