I have motivational quotes/sayings pinned all over my Pinterest board, hanging in my office at work, and framed around my home. I like having positivity shoved in my face. I’m one of those people who needs that daily push, I guess. (Plus I’m sort of a typography freak and looking at a pretty font really brightens my day.) But sometimes I get a bit used to those quotes being there. I see them posted up in my office, I see them around my home – but I don’t read them anymore. I’m used to them being there on the wall, I’m comfortable with them.
Lately I’ve been thinking about what it means to be comfortable. I like to be comfortable. I mean, who doesn’t? I like to know what’s around the corner. I like being around people who already know me. I think I sort of expect that my ship will always come in and I will gracefully step onto it without worry or care. Or no, there may be a little bit of anxiety initially, but there will at least be a clear sign that THIS is my ship. And I would certainly never swim out to the freakin’ thing. No.. I’m good here just waiting my turn. Why would I move outside of my comfort zone or make things harder on myself if I’m “okay” here? What if the next thing I choose is too hard, what if I miss the way it was? What if I *gasp* make the wrong decision?
This way of thinking has entered into every single crevice of my life. From the big important life decisions to the smallest microbial choices of like, should I buy this shirt? There have been CLEAR, writing-in-the-sky choices; moving to Kentucky, marrying Nate, buying a house – I just knew those things were right. But all of those things were stepping stones to getting comfortable and they were sort of no-brainers. You love that guy – move there. You REALLY love that guy – marry him. You’re married – you need a place to live. Not hard. Everything after that? So hard for someone like me. Someone who needs a plan for every scenario.
So, I’m working on this part of me. I’m working on pushing out the fear of the unknown in pursuit of growth and a new definition of “comfortable”. I’m learning to relax and ask myself on a daily basis, “What’s the worst that could happen?”. I usually find that when I answer that question “the worst” is usually something pretty miniscule in the grand scheme of things.
So, let’s swim out to our ships. I’m betting we wont drown. =)