Good morning everyone! Today I introduce to you a sweet Twitter friend of mine, Erica! I’ve met so many wonderful people over the years via message boards, Twitter, and other social media outlets; Erica is on that list of people! I hope you enjoy reading about her experience with being married young. =D
1. First of all, tell us how long have you been married and how old were the two of you when you tied the knot?
We got married December 1st, 2009 so we’ve been married 1.5 years. I was 23 and my husband was 22 when we got married.
2. Tell us a little backstory! How did you and your Husband meet and how long did you date before getting married?
We met in January of 2009. I was meeting a girlfriend to hang out and get a few drinks on a Friday night, while I was waiting for her she texted me let me know she was bringing her friend Eddie. I figured it was a new guy she was seeing that she wanted my approval on. Turns out it was just a friend & instantly Eddie & I had an attraction to each other and had date nights the next 2 days in a row. 3 days after we met he went to Jamaica for a week for his moms destination wedding, when he got back we picked up right where we left off and became “official”. We dated a total of 10 months before getting married!
3. Some people might say you got married a little too young (it’s been said to Nate & I!)- did you receive any negative feedback on your choice to get married at a younger age or were you surrounded by support?
Actually before my husband I had been dating for someone for 5 years and was engaged to him. I spent a year single before meeting my husband and I think that really helped curb the negative feedback on being so young. I had a lot of support from family but a few of our friends didn’t know we were getting married since we eloped & pretty much all were happy for us except for 1. She is no longer in our lives, we prefer to surround ourselves with positive friends and family.
4. This is the time in our lives when most of us twenty-somethings are truly finding ourselves and our purpose, through education or by other means. Have you found it harder or easier to work toward your goals as a married woman?
After my engagement ended I went looking for myself. I started to do well at my job & turned it into a career, started living on my own, and just really enjoying my life in general. I was going out almost every other night and all weekend with my girlfriends, I learned to do all the house stuff I never had to before: taking out the trash, hanging picture frames, putting furniture together. It was simply amazing. I was truely independent and when my husband & I moved in together it was really hard for me to let him do those things. That was the source of first fight believe it or not! He thought I was too independent!
5. Life is fast paced when you’re trying to accomplish so many things and maintain a vibrant and fulfilling marriage at the same time! Do you have any tips on staying connected to your significant other with so much going on?
It’s really tough right now, my husband works nights & weekends while I work Monday-Friday during the day. Our opposite schedules leave little time together but we’re making it work. We have Monday & Tuesday nights together. Also I only work a few minutes up the road from home so I go home for my lunch breaks and we try and have a movie night once a week.
6. What are your favorite things to do as a married couple? Have those things changed a lot or stayed the same since the dating days?
In the premarriage days we used to take lots of nature walks and do dishes together. My husband’s helpfulness with the dishes quickly wore off though! We try and go for walks or least make it the park once a week.
7. Did getting married change anything (relationships, lifestyle, etc.) in your life that surprised you at all?
Marriage made us closer and more comfortable together. I know some people after marriage realize just how big the commitment is and regret it but neither of us have felt that way. We both were ready for the marriage step and I still get those butterflies almost 2 years later that I have a man that I love that loves me and we get to spend our lives together.
8. Are the first few years really the hardest?
Yes and no. It’s hard because honestly there’s a lot of paperwork to do after marriage! Name changing aka the social security office, the dmv, on the phone with different accounts. But in terms of the relationship I think it’s easier because as a woman it’s almost like security being married, he can’t just walk out the door after a fight. It forces you to actually work at the relationship. The second year has been easier than the first but that’s mostly due to being parents.
9. And I know you are a mama to a sweet little boy! In what ways has having a baby has changed and shaped your marriage?
Landon was born a few months after we married. Our amazing honeymoon period ended very quickly and we needed to work at our relationship to survive. A lot of people break up after they have kids, I know why. It’s the hardest period in any relationship I’ve ever had. And we survived. I think regardless of if you’ve been together a month or 10 years your relationship will change after having kids. You’re not the carefree couple you were before, you now have to be responsible adults 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It takes a toll on a person. But you just have to keep telling yourself when it’s hard “this too shall pass”. Having our son has made us closer in so many ways, and we wouldn’t change any of it. In fact, we can’t wait for another baby!
10. Lastly, if you could give one piece of advice to a young couple who were thinking of getting hitched, what would it be?
Make sure you’re on the path you want – don’t listen to the negatives, maturity matters more than age!
