It’s National Twin Day! So a photo of Bennett an It’s National Twin Day! So a photo of Bennett and Everett with their twin big brothers (who they look more like than each other) is the perfect one to share! 

I read earlier today that the worldwide twinning birth rate is 12 in 1000 births. I guess we are just a rare bunch in this household with our medical histories (Kawasaki Disease.. Guillain–Barré syndrome..) and now twins. 🥳 #nationaltwinday #twinmom #twinmomlife #boymom
It’s World Breastfeeding Week! Having preemie tw It’s World Breastfeeding Week! Having preemie twins really flipped everything I thought I knew about breastfeeding upside down. 

This time around I’m having to pump more, bottle feed, nurse, and add in a bit of formula a few times a day to help them gain weight. I can’t just nurse them both at night because Everett doesn’t get full, so I have to get up and deal with bottles and pumping. Otherwise, He would literally stay awake all night snacking every 20 mins! They’re still only going about an hour and a half before they get fussy again so by the time I’ve changed diapers (and some outfits) and pumped, I lay down for about 30 mins before at least one wakes up to eat again. 🤪 And if you don’t wake the other.. then you’re up twice as much!

As they get bigger it’ll be easier to tandem nurse and will save so much time and energy (especially at night). We practiced yesterday morning and this was the most successful attempt we’ve had. I felt so proud of them. 

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, for sure. But I know the days are long and the years are short. I know this because we are taking a 2nd grader to school orientation and I swear it was just yesterday that I was going through these sleepless newborn nights with him. 🤯❤️
Just a little bite! #twinlife #twinmom Just a little bite! #twinlife #twinmom
I love to think about the journey that brought us I love to think about the journey that brought us here. Nothing about how Nate and I ended up together or all of the things that led right to where we are now could’ve happened by chance. If you would’ve told me back when I was putting up “cool music” on my MySpace page to try and impress this hot guy in Kentucky that one day  we’d be married and raising four cute boys together in our dream house .. driving a dang minivan.. I’m not sure I would’ve believed it. 💞✨ We are sleep deprived, slightly outnumbered, and the dream house needs occasional ($$$) repairs but man… I still feel like I am the luckiest because I’m doing it all with him.
In case you were wondering, no, I still can’t be In case you were wondering, no, I still can’t believe I had twins. 🤯🥰
Not a bad place to be nap trapped! 🥰💙💙 Sw Not a bad place to be nap trapped! 🥰💙💙 Swipe to see little baby Cohen .. he needed to get in his own @dockatot!
Today is the ✨b e s t✨ day. 💙💙💙💙 Today is the ✨b e s t✨ day. 💙💙💙💙
The big boys went fishing with dad this morning wh The big boys went fishing with dad this morning while mom and Everett slept in! 🎣
NICU life is hard. It would be hard no matter what NICU life is hard. It would be hard no matter what, but trying to juggle one baby at home + our bigger kids adds another layer of difficulty. We have to be present for them, so we can’t be at the hospital constantly. And when one of us is there, it doesn’t feel like we’re doing much. The fact that we have no idea when he will be ready to come home is the worst part. I’ve tried to imagine what this is like when I’ve seen other people going through it but like so many things, you just can’t know until you experience it yourself. 

He’s doing well, but just has to keep growing and getting stronger! He is down to one liter and on 21% oxygen. He still has to be able to eat all of his food by mouth and he gets a little too tired to do that right now. But all in all, I know he is making improvements every day. I can’t wait to bring him home! 💞
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Thoughts On · December 15, 2021

Tis The Season to Reflect

The past few months have been an emotional roller coaster. Extremely high highs and the lowest lows I’ve ever experienced. August and September were filled with fun and the ability to let loose a little. I got the chance to take my first ever girls trip to the beach with my best friend. I haven’t done something like that since having two little ones and it felt so good to share my favorite place with a friend and relax. Then in September, I got to see one of my favorite bands and hang out with friends a little more than usual. I had missed live music so much! September just felt so pre-covid normal and it was kind of wonderful. October snuck up on me and came in with a bang! Nate passed medic class and he officially became a paramedic, just like I knew he would! And on that same day, I found out I was pregnant! It was a whirlwind of emotions. It wasn’t something we were planning but it wasn’t something we had ruled out. When we moved into this house I envisioned three kids playing in the backyard. It felt like fate.

I was very concerned from the beginning. I had been on birth control and I googled *all* the things that could happen. I had such a bad feeling. After my first ultrasound, it was confirmed that things looked okay but I still continued to feel off. Stress was high for me with work and everything I had on my plate. It’s so hard to explain but I still felt like things just weren’t right. I told Nate several times that I just didn’t *feel* pregnant. It’s so strange looking back on it now. We ended up losing the pregnancy and that week was truly the worst week of my life. The wondering, the confirmation, and everything that happened during that week still gives me extreme anxiety to think about. Places I went, things that happened – I haven’t been back to those places since because I just can’t. Miscarriage is one of those things that as a mother you think you can probably imagine how hard it would be, but until you experience it, you really just can’t know. And although I would never have wanted to know that pain, I feel grateful for the understanding and sympathy I have, now that it had to be part of my story.

Now we’ve made it through November to December! We took the boys to Disney World, enjoyed our Thanksgiving with family, started having our at-home date nights again, and now it’s almost Christmas! Nate was on vacation for several weeks and I was not ready for him to go back to work BUT I’m so excited that he has Christmas Eve and Christmas day off this year! That NEVER happens! I’m so looking forward to 2022 as we get ready for all of the new adventures we’ll face together. Sometimes going through something really tough can make you truly appreciate where you’re at and help you get excited about the future. We’re ready for you 2022! I remember saying the same about 2021 and then laughing later on because life continued to be just as it was in 2020 – crazy and full of challenges! It’s not that I’m expecting a year of perfection and stress-free living – oh no, the opposite really! But I’m ready to jump into it with my little family because I’m excited to be here with them no matter what!

Love you all! Stay safe and have a Merry Christmas!

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In: Thoughts On · Tagged: Life Updates, Pregnancy loss, reflecting

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